“One of the most important discoveries of my generation is that by changing one's mindset, one can change one's life,”  said William James, one of the notable philosophers and psychologists of the twentieth century.

The human brain indeed holds such immense power that it can transform any logical desire into reality. Yet most of us feel stuck in unwanted realities or life situations that we don’t wish to live in. We feel incapable and helpless. But decades of research in several fields including psychoneuroimmunology shows that just as the hardware in a computer is run by software, the brain is run by our mind, and the mind is driven by the individual mindset. Scientists say people can have two kinds of mindset - Proactive, or Reactive. 

For positive outcomes in life, one must adopt a proactive mindset in life, and for negative outcomes, a reactive mindset. Most of us unknowingly fall into the second category, the reactive category, and blame it on our fate. But the truth of life is, that it is never fate or any external subject but the mindset within us that decides whether our life would go in a positive direction or negative. 

So what is a proactive mindset? How to adopt it in your life? 

Let us try to understand with practical life examples. 

The characteristics of a proactive person: 

1: They are in control of themselves. 

Once a father and a son were walking to the local market to sell their donkey. A passerby noticed them and commented, ‘Such foolish people! Both of them are walking, even though one of them could easily ride the donkey.”

Hearing this, the father put his son on the back of the donkey and continued their journey. After a while, another passerby commented, “What a disrespectful son! He is sitting comfortably on the donkey while his poor old father is going on foot.”

After this, the father and the son changed places. The father rode the donkey while the son went on foot. A little later, another person said, “What a cruel father! He is making his young child walk while he sits comfortably on the donkey.”  So the father and son both got on top of the donkey. This time they came across an animal rights activist who began to complain: “How unfair! How Cruel! Two men on top of one donkey!”

Now the father and son found themselves in great trouble. They couldn't walk, they couldn’t ride the donkey alone or together. So they came up with a new idea. They tied the donkey upside down to a bamboo stick and carried it on their shoulder. As they were crossing a bridge, the donkey got scared and started moving violently. Eventually the father, son and the donkey fell down the canal. The donkey broke its backbone while the father and the son broke their legs. The donkey couldn’t be sold. The father and the son came home injured.

This is what happens when you are not in control of your own life and let other people control you. When you get hurt by what others say, burst out in reaction, become resentful and vengeful, or when the opposite happens, when you get carried away by people’s praise and try to gain their attention, you lose control over your life. 

Just as this father and son, you too will end up in frustration and failure if you act reactively in life. Sports psychologists take advantage of this reactive attitude and train sportsmen to deliberately provoke their opponents. If the opponent loses their calm, they make mistakes and the other team wins. On the other hand, proactive people make calm decisions and take thoughtful actions, without getting excited or emotional. Proactivity means not taking action as a reaction to a person or situation. It means always keeping your own values, goals, and objectives in view and taking planned action. 

When the Wright brothers were trying to build an airplane, most scientists believed it to be an impossible idea. They thought the Wright brothers had lost their minds. But the brothers persisted, and the face of civilization changed forever.

The less you are influenced by others, the more influence you have on others. 

There is another well-known story of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that makes the concept even clearer. 

During the Prophet’s (pbuh) time, there was an old lady who had very negative ideas about the Prophet. So she tried to harass him by putting thorns on his path every day. The Prophet understood but never said anything to her. He simply removed the thorns and went about his way. One day the Prophet noticed that there were no thorns on his path. He assumed the old woman might have become busy with something else and did not give it further thought. But when the same happened for a few consecutive days, the Prophet became concerned and went to her house to inquire after her. He found her sick and immediately nursed her and took good care of her. Witnessing the Prophet’s kindness and magnanimity, the old lady regretted her actions and accepted the Prophet’s religion. 

Here, the Prophet was able to influence the woman because he was not influenced by her. He felt the same compassion for her as he would feel for any other person.

Throughout history, those who reached the pinnacle of humanity attained this quality of being proactive in the truest sense, and that is how they won the hearts of millions. This is the way of life, that the less you get influenced by other people and external situations, the more joy and success you receive from life.

 

2. They Always Focus on the Bright Side

Once there was an old Japanese lady who cried all the time. She had two daughters, the elder one was married to an umbrella merchant while the younger one was married to a noodle vendor. On sunny days, she cried that her elder daughter’s husband could not sell umbrellas, and on rainy days she cried that her younger daughter’s husband could not dry the noodles without the sun. Thus the old lady lived in constant anxiety and worry. Then one day she came across a monk who listened to her problem and offered a solution, “It is all very simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, think only about your younger daughter’s husband who could dry out all the noodles in the sun, and on rainy days, think of the husband of your elder daughter who would sell plenty of umbrellas due to the rain.” The old lady followed the monk’s instructions and never cried again. Now she has become known as “the smiling lady”. 

Proactive people always focus on what they have instead of what they lack. For them, the glass is always half full. Focusing on the positive side of things naturally attracts more success and happiness in life.  

Take a look at human history, are there any successful personalities who had it all? Rather, it is mostly the opposite. 

It was the mindset that made them who they were. Family background, intelligence level, poverty, race, gender, or physical disability could never stop a person who attained a proactive attitude in life. 

Andrew Carnegie, the wealthiest American of his time, grew up in the slums. Albert Einstein was believed to be dyslexic, and no school would accept him until he was nine. Being a woman did not stop Margaret Thatcher or Indira Gandhi from holding the post of the highest executive of the country. Barack Obama is black. Physical disability did not stop Stephen Hawking, Helen Keller, or Homer from succeeding.

They all had one thing in common, that is they focused on what they had instead of what they lacked. Appreciating what they have brought them inner peace and stability in life which enabled them to start with what they have. Their proactive mindset helped them see clearly through the obstacles and find the opportunities lying beneath the problems. 

 

3. They Never Give Up 

Once there was a man who failed at his business at the age of 21, got defeated in legislative race at age 22, failed again in business at age 24, had his sweetheart die when he was 26, had a nervous breakdown at age 27, lost a congressional race at age 34, lost a senatorial race at age 45, failed to become vice president at age 37, lost a senatorial race at age 49, and was finally was elected president of United States at age 52. The man was  Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln could have easily thought that politics was not for him after all the consecutive failures. But he never did and he became the best president the United States has ever had.

It is not that successful people do not face obstacles. On the contrary, most of them encounter more obstacles than most people. But they do not give up in the face of obstacles. They overcome them. They never get disheartened by failures as almost all failures are temporary. And no defeat is defeat unless you are defeated mentally. 

Everything in life depends on the mindset, and the mindset depends on the decisions we make in everyday life. So start from where you are with what you have, do not get distracted by other people, and do not give up in the face of temporary setbacks. You have the power to build your own realities. Use it.