Anger and hatred can be just enough to ruin someone’s life. Most of us, when we get angry, do things that we greatly regret later. We say or do something that we feel embarrassed about for the rest of our lives. Then there are those who suppress their emotions. That can be even more harmful, and lead to various physical and psychological complications. For a healthy life, we need to express our anger and negative emotions in a healthy ‘controlled’ manner.

Express without Hurting Others

Now, how does that work? Well, it is not that difficult really! Say for example, you are running late for an important meeting but your car is stuck in a traffic jam. It hasn’t moved even an inch for the last one hour. By the look of it, you realize that it’s going to take more than a couple of hours for the road to clear out. The sticky hot weather, the smell of burning petrol and your empty stomach makes the waiting unbearable. You feel you are going to burst into flames.

In situations like this you can express your anger easily. Get off the car and kick the road a few times, or just look at the mess and shout at it (Make sure not to offend people though). Or don't bother to get out of the car, just punch the car seat a couple of times. You’ll notice that all the rage is gone. Soon you will find your mind and body calming down. In his book Freedom from Anger, Dr. Roger Daldrap, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona, highlighted the importance of this temporary but effective method of anger management.

Count Your Breath

Another easy but effective way is to count your breath. Whenever you feel angry, take a long deep breath and start counting. As you breathe out slowly, feel all your anger and hatred being released with the air. Do this 10 to 20 times. After a while you’ll feel much lighter and peaceful inside.

These two techniques work great for everyday life. Not all kinds of anger, however, are so easy to get rid of. What do you do when someone close to you offends you greatly? Exploding in anger makes the situation only worse. Suppressing is not an option either. 

Time May Not Heal All Wounds

People say, time heals all wounds. Many of us think, with time we will forget about our sufferings. But the reality is just the reverse. Dr. Daldrap says that if we lock up these feelings inside us then they just remain there. People often carry around anger and hatred for 20/30/40 years. For many, this hidden inner pain from the past is the source of present illness and addictions.

Psychologists say we need to release our anger and hatred regularly. Or else they get piled up inside us and cause agitation and other complications. Then one day, all these pent-up emotions burst out in the wrong way at the wrong place. But if you clear away your negative emotions on a regular basis then even when you are angry you can calmly say "Sorry, I don’t agree with you."

But you need to be careful while expressing anger and other negative emotions. You may get a chance to give a massive set down to an annoying person, but it is always better not to do that. Nor should you digest everything quietly either. Try to talk openly with the person. Tell them, "Let us discuss our points of view" or, "This thing is bothering me. Can we please talk about it?". The intention should be to clear away the tense situation, not to bring anyone down.

A Little Tactic Goes A Long Way

While talking, try not to blame anyone directly. You can explain the reasons for your anger tactfully without saying anything against anyone. For example, instead of saying "You are making me angry", say "When something like this happens it makes me angry". This way you are not blaming anyone directly, but they will still understand what you are really trying to tell them. If you become a little aware of these things, you will find yourself in a very strong position.

If it feels awkward talking face to face, or if you feel that if you say things verbally you may  miss some points, then write them a letter. Discuss the whole situation and what really hurt you. Write in detail. Perhaps you’ll never post this letter to that person, but by writing the letter you release all the emotions. This will save you from the future complications.

Releasing Your Anger through Meditation

Meditation is a great way to release the pent up anger and bitterness within you. To release your anger through Quantum Method Meditation:

Go to the Alpha Station in the usual process. Sit in your chair in the waiting room. Place another chair in front of you. Now visualize that the person you are angry with is sitting on that chair. Now tell them how you felt, how mad you are at them. Tell him all the reasons. Talk at length. But while talking about your anger, never say, "You have hurt me" or "You have made me angry". Or else you’ll get used to blaming others for everything. Instead say ‘I’m hurt’, ‘I got angry’. This way of expressing anger will help you express your emotional reaction in a more constructive manner.

In the waiting room of the Alpha Station, feel free to talk about your feelings without any hesitation. In your visualization you may hit the person with a paper stick as much as you want. Tell them about your feelings or hit them with the paper stick until you get tired. When you feel you have done enough, go to your Quantum Home. Give yourself positive auto suggestions or visualize your goal. Then come back to the normal conscious state in the usual process.